In the summer of 2022 my husband and I took a life-changing trip to London. It was the kind of experience that made us rethink everything, like whether we wanted to travel the world or grow our family.
We had finally reached what we called “the sweet spot” – our boys were four and six an the chaos of toddlerhood was behind us. The boys were more independent and things just felt much easier. And exploring more countries sounded pretty great.
But one night of scrolling through photos of them at two and three… those little voices, those tiny sneakers…and we decided we had to take the opportunity to relive the magic of those ages. One year later our sweet girl was here. And she’s truly a dream.
But, she’s also a toddler. And while it’s magical, it’s also a bit brutal. So if you’re in the throes of this very special stage and trying to survive…there’s a few things you may need to hear.
Toddlers ARE amazing (but they’re also the most irrational and dramatic humans on earth)
The other day my daughter asked me, “can we be best friends forever?” and yes, I melted into a puddle. But that same day, she cried for twenty minutes because I…put my hair up. I wish I was exaggerating this for comedic effect, but that actually happened. The irresistible cuteness of toddlerhood almost always comes with relentless drama. Once you accept that ridiculousness is just part of the package, it gets a little easier.
It’s helpful to know that we all struggle through this stage, and a lot of the rules go out the window. It took me three kids to accept that when my toddler is toddlering, there’s no reasoning with her and there’s sense in trying to problem solve. The only things that help us get through it are a big bear hug or simply sighing and walking away. Sometimes we both need comfort, sometimes we both need space. Try to remember that no parent is prepared to deal with what toddlers throw at them.
You WILL miss these days (but it’s okay if they feel really hard right now)
There’s nothing less helpful than an older, wiser person reminding you that “you’ll miss these days” when you’re wrestling your 2 year old back into their coat and into their car seat (for the fifth time that day.) Of course you will miss the way your toddler says they WUV you, how they insist on you kissing their boo-boos, or that they can’t leave the house without purple rain boots.
But it doesn’t mean you have to cherish and appreciate every single second of this stage. A lot of these days will feel exceptionally hard and it’s okay to wish for easier ones. It’s also okay to not be at your best during those hard days. My core memories of my boys as toddlers aren’t their tantrums, and I know theirs aren’t the moments when I lost my patience. So give yourself grace if today wasn’t your best day of parenting.
It DOES go so fast (but there’s also so much to look forward to)
There’s so much to love about the toddler age — the obsession with princesses (or dolls or cars or dinosaurs), the many idiosyncrasies (like having to eat breakfast in a costume), and how they are the perfect size for snuggling. So much sweetness crammed into a few short years. But there’s also so many wonderful things to come. I just got to see my ten year old earn his apprentice Black Belt. I have the best heart-to-hearts with my very empathetic eight year old. I can keep the tiny versions of them in my memories, and revel in the people they are becoming.
And on top of being done with diapers forever, I get to see my kids accomplish new things, overcome fears and anxieties, and achieve goals I couldn’t have dreamed of when they were little. I can say with confidence that even though I might catch myself wishing I could freeze time, it really does just keep getting better.
