I’m a mom of three awesome kids. My boys are eight and ten, and my daughter is almost three (going on 13.) As a stay-at-home mom, I spend a ridiculous amount of time with my daughter. But now that my boys are in school – second and fourth grade – my one-on-one time with them is so limited. School, extracurriculars, sports, play dates, (and Nintendo Switches) all keep us very busy. And even when we aren’t out doing things, I’m often tending to the needs of a very demanding toddler.
It’s important to me to find time to connect with my older children. I want to know about their day, who their friends are, what’s weighing on them, and so much more. So here’s how I make sure to connect with them regularly…
Once a day:
When my boys get home from school, I try my hardest to press pause on the hundreds of mental tasks running through my head. I greet them with a warm hug, give them my full attention, and let them know much they were missed. I’m excited about the 37th Super Mario picture my son has brought home, or thrilled to learn about another Greek god. My boys don’t always tell me much about their day, but they know I care. And that’s what matters most. When the schedule doesn’t cooperate, small moments of connection can also happen before school or at bedtime.
Once a week:
Once a week I spend half an hour with each of my sons one-on-one. It is the only solid hour of my week where I literally do not pick up my phone. Our time together is simple – a board game, snuggling, chatting. It’s nothing fancy, just meaningful quality time, enjoying each other’s company. It’s when I get to really soak in each of their personalities. These weekly half-hours have gifted us with lots of belly laughs, many inside jokes, and so much joy and sweetness.
Once a month:
Once a month I try to take both boys to do something extra special. Because life is life, it’s usually every other month, but we do our best! We go out for ice cream, play games at Dave & Buster’s, or see a movie. It’s uninterrupted time, doing something we all enjoy. And, I’m not being constantly distracted by their sister. Plus it never hurts to remind my kids that I’m a cool mom who likes to have fun too
As our kids grow older, their worlds grow wider. But these moments of connections help keep us close through every season of life.
