While I got my haircut a few weeks ago, I chatted about summer plans with my friend-neighbor-hair stylist. She said her three kids will have a balanced mix of camps, unscheduled time, and a few trips sprinkled in. She went on to say that two years ago she gave her kids a “90s summer” – no camps, no plans, totally free range. It didn’t go well. A week or so in, it felt like a long summer. Predictably, she over scheduled the following summer. Her older two kids were in camps almost every week. And, that was too much. Too much stimulation, too much driving, just too much. So this summer, she’s trying something different. She’s hopeful that the balanced approach will support her and her kids differently than the last two summers. She works a few days a week and is the primary caregiving while her husband works long hours and travels moderately.
My situation is similar. I have one daughter who is just three, and I’ve gotten used to a routine of preschool four days a week. I can use that time to write an article, do my work, or get a few errands done kid-free. Thinking about summer and missing that routine feels daunting. For those of us who work outside the home, and depend on the time our kids are at school to get our work done, there’s a mix of emotions that comes along with summer’s approach. It’ll be nice to have longer days but with the extra time, comes the question about how to fill it without school and still meet professional expectations. We want to be present for our kids, ensure they enjoy their time away from school, and keep ourselves grounded. Here are a few strategies that might help.
Start With Reliable Childcare
And don’t feel guilty about whatever that looks like for your family. Whether it’s camp every week, a sitter, or something else entirely — you have to do what gets your job done and keeps your kids safe. When that’s settled, you can actually show up for your work instead of spending the day wondering if they’re okay. New beginnings can be tricky, and I remind myself that different people and experiences expand curiosity, imagination, and empathy. As long as they’re safe and know they’re coming back to you, those new situations can only be learning opportunities.
Create a Playgroup with Other Working Moms
At book club recently, I mentioned this idea to a group of women ranging from their 50s to their 80s, and they lit up. Every single one of them had done some version of this. This isn’t a co-op, it’s texting two friends and suggesting to swap afternoons. You take their kids Tuesday, they take yours Thursday. Everyone gets a chunk of uninterrupted work or errand time, and the kids get a playdate. Win-win. And it’s a time-tested mom hack!
Take Five Minutes For You
Some people have a whole morning routine – good for them. If I can get a cup of hot coffee in quiet to start my day, I feel grounded. A walk around the block or stretching, taking some deep breaths, a short meditation (Insight Timer has a solid free library) or simply stepping outside can set you up for a calm morning. You just need a moment that’s yours before the day takes over.
Save Your Energy
Save your energy wherever you can. For me, that often means using AI tools to simplify meal planning. Take ten minutes on Sunday night and ask an AI tool like Claude or ChatGPT for a weeklong meal plan. A clean prompt might look something like: Give me five weeknight dinners for a family of four with a picky three-year-old, no shellfish, each under 30 minutes, two nights using leftovers, grocery budget under $150 for the week, and a grocery list organized by store section. Swap out your family details and other specifics but otherwise, watch how quickly this tool can save you time. Whether it’s organizing your kids outfits by color or letting them choose their own and accepting that some days they will look like Pippi Longstocking, let it go. It’s simpler.
Intentional Screen Time
My best friend has college age kids. I shared with her some concerns recently about even the limited use of our iPad that I give my daughter – how hard it was to take from her after even 20 minutes of Khan Academy Kids or a Disney coloring app while I made dinner. She raised exceptional, truly lovely humans with moderate screen time occupying them throughout childhood. Several nights, she sent me a picture of them both on their phones while out to dinner as a family. It was a tongue in cheek poke, of course. But it also said something true: we spend so much of early motherhood trying to do everything right, only to watch them grow up and do whatever they want anyway. All we can do is our best. So, if 30 minutes of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood or two movies in a row is essential to get you through, it’s ok. The kids are alright.
Make Room For Summer Memories
If your job offers any flexibility in the summer, even one adjusted day a week, use it intentionally. Block it on your calendar like a meeting and protect it. Our Summer Bucket List can be printed and hung on your fridge. Some days can be more adventurous than others. If keeping a checklist sounds worse than your typical to do list, skip it. Find the version of summer that actually appeals to you, not the Pinterest version. Your kids won’t remember that they followed a schedule. A mom who is genuinely present and happy beats a mom who’s performing enthusiasm. That’s what they’ll remember. And it’s what you’ll remember, too.
Not too long after the haircut, I met two moms for coffee. We lamented about the upcoming loss of the break we get from preschool and the routine that comes with school. In the same conversation, we cheered on the arrival of longer days and warmer weather. And therein lies the challenge of being a working mom in Rochester. We can’t wait for the weather that summer brings but struggle with how to manage the days with all our responsibilities. Perfect balance isn’t really the goal anyway. But finding small ways to save your energy and make room for fun — it might end up being a better summer than you’re expecting.
