How each stage of childhood shapes us just as much as it shapes them
Let’s talk about the different stages of childhood and the quiet truth that often gets overlooked:
when our kids grow, we grow too.
Sometimes it happens so fast and so seamlessly that we forget this is our first time at motherhood as well. We’re learning as we go, adjusting in real time, evolving right alongside the tiny humans we’re raising.
I absolutely adored the baby stage.
The snuggles. The giggles. The way the smallest things brought them so much joy. No talking back. No power struggles. Just being needed in the most straightforward, and all-consuming way.
But when my kids reached the 8, 6, and 4 ages, something shifted. Not just in them, but in me.
They weren’t babies anymore, but they weren’t independent either. They wanted freedom while still needing guidance. They were capable of doing more on their own, yet fought it (and me) constantly. And I found myself missing my babies while also loving that I didn’t need to watch them every second of the day.
Conflicted is the word that kept coming up.
I can’t keep them in our little in-home-daycare bubble anymore. They’re being influenced by the world now; friends, classmates, teachers, kids on the bus. It’s not a loss of control, but it is a new awareness. A subtle realization that parenting doesn’t stay the same, even when we sometimes wish it could.
They still fight. A lot.
But they’re also three kids trying to find their place in our home and in the World. Learning independence while still wanting to enjoy the simple magic of being a kid.
And here’s the part we don’t talk about enough:
while they’re growing externally, we’re growing internally too.
As moms and women, we aren’t just navigating our kids’ milestones; We’re moving through our own shifts, emotionally, mentally, and physically. For many of us, that includes perimenopause or menopause, identity changes, and a deeper awareness of who we are becoming in this season of life.
We’re learning how to hold space for ourselves while holding space for everyone else. ( While also maneuvering social media as not only adults, but for and with our kids. We’re trying to understand this crazy and ever changing World and looking for what we can do to support others, all while trying to squeeze in some self-care. There is a. lot. going. on. A lot of moving parts. )
But when I pause long enough to notice, I realize how much growth is happening on both sides. I feel confident in the job my husband and I have done in raising our kids. The values we’ve instilled, the compassion they show, the responsibility they’re learning. I see it when they clean up after themselves. When they care deeply about others. When they play down the street where I can’t physically see them, yet I trust who they are becoming.
Every stage comes with its own mix of beauty and challenges for them and for us.
So if you’re finding yourself nostalgic, overwhelmed, proud, exhausted, or emotional all at once, know this:
This season can be beautiful and hard at the same time and feeling conflicted is simply part of being human.
This is your first time too.
And there is something incredibly powerful, and even beautiful, about recognizing that you get to grow alongside your kids. To become new versions of yourself as they become new versions of who they are.
Your love remains steady, even as everything else changes.
And that love, for them and for yourself, is all that’s needed.
