I am a voracious reader but mostly of fiction so when a non-fiction book keeps my attention and inspires me, I am determined to share it. Each of these are about 300 pages and offer insight into non-parenting concepts and ideas (but can be applied to family life, for sure). These are texts to dive into if one of your goals for the new year is to learn something new, challenge yourself in bite-sized ways, remind yourself of what you were like before parenthood, or all of the above.
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker
Now that you might have a few moments to breathe after a season of gathering, this is the book to consider what these times can look like in the future. Maybe your extended family gathering quickly spiraled into complete chaos and no one quite remembers how to get everyone back on the same page when it comes to tradition. Or perhaps new family members (baby, stepchildren, in-laws) added a layer to your gatherings that took you by surprise. Quite possibly, you will celebrate *something* this year and after you’ve read this book, you will gather friends, family or even co-workers with confidence. Whatever the situation, Ms. Parker offers thoughtful insights about how to bring everyone together around a unified purpose, leave out what (or who!) no longer works, and invites readers to be specific about the purpose of a gathering. Her research identifies how this establishment and clearly expression of this purpose can lead to effective, memorable, and relevant gatherings where each person feels welcomed, included, and thinking about it long after it ended. Read more here.
The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Since we spend so little time with our kids now that they are teens and young adults, I really want every moment that we do have with them to count – and that means intentionally crafting meaningful and memorable moments, even when it could be an ordinary day. These 320 pages made me consider not just how to create meaningful moments but what makes them meaningful. The Power of Moments identifies four components of moments: elevation, insight, pride, and connections. While there are opportunities for truly unforgettable experiences (think vacations, milestones, and special holidays), the power of a moment truly comes from a thoughtful connection with my fourteen year old over a coffee, taking a drive on a clear evening to watch the sunset on Sodus Beach, or completing a challenging puzzle together. The power of moments is not in their expense or vastness but the feelings that arise from a defining moment no matter how insignificant it might seem. Read more here.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
This book changed my life. I read the first twenty pages and put it down with more self-awareness than I had in the first thirty years of my life. Within those first twenty pages, Ms. Cain described me better than I could even explain myself by highlighting so many characteristics that I thought were “wrong” with me. Instead, she highlights the need to find a quiet corner at a party, go to bed early after a day full of people, and introspect as traits to celebrate. Preferring the company of one or two friends instead of a large group (something I’d always thought of as a flaw) is written about as a “quiet power”. Along with doing more listening than talking and offering energetic bursts of creativity in a workplace, Ms. Cain’s research presents a well-founded case for the gift of introversion. Quiet starts with a “quiz;” though I was not surprised to see that I checked almost all of the boxes, the text that followed changed my thinking about not only being an introvert but also how to engage more meaningful with other introverts and those who are more extroverted. Read more here.
Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee
I play a game with my daughter that I learned from Dr. Aliza Pressman called “What Makes You Happy?” Even at two, she is able to identify happiness in tangible ways (rainbows, hugs, Daniel Tiger, pretzels) and when we talk about these small joys, her whole face lights up. This is essentially Ms. Lee’s main thesis. There is power in surrounding ourselves with items, places, people, and experiences that bring us joy even if they seem insignificant. We listen to our favorite songs on repeat, watch cute animal videos (have you seen the pandas playing in the snow!?), and colorful art adorns the walls of children’s hospitals for a reason! Through psychology and neuroscience concepts, Ms. Lee not only explains how our outlook is squarely in our own hands but also to encourages us to play with a ball, climb up stairs (or a tree) and look at the world from another angle, or dance in your kitchen even when life presents challenges will lead to a more joyful existence. Read more here.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
This is an oldie but goodie was first published in 2010. I’ve read it all the way through several times and continue to pick it up to gather a few “reminders” for myself regularly. Ms. Brown breaks down her ideas about showing up in the world with a fuller heart, one that is open to others mistakes and triumphs along with acceptance of one’s own strengths and growth opportunities. Her approachable language invites you to use her ten guideposts to let go of things like perfectionism and comparison and alternatively “cultivate” self-compassion and creativity. Before you read her book, there is an inventory (or quiz) on Brené Brown’s website to enhance your experience. If you’ve felt like “I’m not enough” this is a quick reminder (137 pages!) to remind yourself you ARE. Read more here.
Want to share what you learned or discuss with other readers? Head over to the Rochester Mom Collective Facebook Group and start or join a discussion! We would love to see you there.
