We love this beautiful journey called motherhood. Of course, not every moment is rainbows and unicorns. That is to be expected. As moms, we sometimes put ourselves last, but that is not healthy for us or our families. There are strategies we can use to care for ourselves while supporting our families through the ups and downs. The coping skills list below is not all-encompassing, but it is a good starting point.
For Your Mind
Control the Controllable
Practicing acceptance is no easy task. The truth is, there are many things we cannot control: when our kids get sick, when yesterday’s favorite meal becomes today’s battle, or when the rain interrupts our park plans. These moments can be stressful, and even dysregulating, for us or our kids.
So what can we control? We can take deep breaths when frustration rises. We can decide how to respond to the rain—by coming prepared with a raincoat or by embracing it and dancing in it. It is easy to focus on what we cannot control, but that usually brings more stress and helplessness. Shifting our attention to what is in our hands can be difficult, but it is also empowering.
Mindful Moments
Stay with me here. Mindfulness really can make a difference. The key is being open to it. How often do you focus on just one thing at a time?
Try taking a walk and paying attention to your senses. Notice the scents around you, the colors and details you see, the sounds close and far, and the ground beneath your feet. You may be surprised by how much goes unnoticed in daily life.
Even chores can become mindful moments. Washing dishes is not my favorite task, but I can notice the warmth of the water, the scent of the soap, or the rhythm of the music playing in the background. Paying attention in this way can transform an ordinary experience.
Grounding Statements
Having a phrase to return to during hard moments can help you reset. Try one of these, or create one of your own:
- It is okay for me to rest. My needs matter too.
- This moment is hard, and it will pass.
- My worth is not measured by my productivity.
For Your Body
Take a Break
Give yourself permission to step away, even for a few minutes. Allow yourself to skip a task or two. Your well-being is more important than your to-do list.
Movement & Body Reset
Movement is proven to support mental health. That does not mean it has to be a 30-minute run. Find what feels good to you—biking, yoga, pilates, lifting, Zumba, or a family “Danny Go!” video with your kids.
On busy days, get creative. Try pushups with a child on your back or invite them to join in some stretches. The goal is to move your body in a way that feels right for you.
Sensory Soothers
Keep a few sensory comforts close by. Maybe it is a warm cup of tea with extra honey, a candle you love, a soft blanket for snuggles, calming music, or a simple fidget tool. These little resets can make a big difference.
For Your Heart
Get Goofy
When the chaos feels like too much, lean into it. Play tag, have a dance party, sing loudly, or invent a silly game. Sometimes joining in lightens the mood for everyone.
Reminisce
Looking at old photos or noticing your child’s little hands and feet can be powerful. You may find yourself wondering how they were ever that small. It is a reminder of how quickly time passes and why it matters to pause and cherish the moments we are in now.
Lean into Your Community
A strong support system can make a world of difference. It might be family, friends, a moms group, or even the librarians you see at story time. For some, building community comes naturally, while for others it takes effort and courage. Take small steps. Strike up a conversation with another mom at the park, or attend a Mummies Night Out. You never know when a new friendship will begin.
Use your skills. Use your people. Use your time and energy effectively. Phew, it is easy to write or read, yet harder to put into practice. But these coping skills are possible with focus and intentionality. Let’s work on it together.
