I’m not the type of mom who expects tidy bedrooms every day. I want my kids to have the freedom to play and live in their bedrooms. But at the same time, I want my kids to learn the skills of how to keep a space relatively tidy. When we have visitors coming or I know we need to get in and vacuum/deep clean/change bedding, I require them to pick up.
I tend to be a cluttered person, and these are tips I’ve learned to help me manage our household. Our home isn’t spotless, but it’s generally 5-10 minutes away from being tidy and clean when needed. After figuring out what I need in managing our home, these are the ways I’ve worked with my kids to combat overwhelm when a room pickup needs to happen.
7 Tips To Help Kids Manage Their Bedrooms
1. Have a Home for Each Item off the Floor
I don’t allow the floor to be a place where my kids’ belongings are kept. For example, small toy bins, stuffed animals, and books can be kept on a bookshelf. Giving items a clearly defined spot to go when it’s time to pick up helps get the room to a state that’s easy to vacuum and deep clean.
2. Limit Inventory
We set natural limits for different types of belongings in the kids’ bedrooms. Any books need to fit on the bookshelf. The toys need to fit in the bin. All the clothes need to fit in their designated drawers. If there are too many to fit in their boundary, then there are too many in the bedroom!
My children can choose what they’re done reading or playing with (whether broken or outgrown). If my kiddos can’t yet part with anything to make it all fit within the storage limit, then I have them choose their favorites to keep there first. After that, we bring the rest to the living room book and toy area. (But — Surprise! — we set limits for items there too!) This goes hand in hand with my next tip . . .
3. Know When to Declutter
When my child pushes back on picking up, or sluggishly begs me to help them, that tells me we’re trying to store too much in the bedroom. I’ll help clean my kids’ rooms if we’re in a hurry, but otherwise, they’ve learned that if they can’t clean up their mess by themselves, then there is simply too much. Or if a category of items is overflowing its designated limit, as stated above, then we know it’s time to declutter.
My kids have witnessed me letting go of stuff I don’t need over the years, and this has naturally inspired them to simplify their own stuff. We started by figuring out together what needs to go so my kiddos can manage their items. This was a difficult task the first few times. But once they experienced that picking up is easier with less stuff in their bedrooms, decluttering is a welcomed refresh to them.
Now I provide them with a declutter bin on occasion while they’re picking up, and it’s no big deal. It is their job alone to identify what needs to go. My job is to figure out what to do with it after it’s in that bin.
4. Make Clothes Easily Accessible
I love the age when kids start dressing themselves. It is so exciting to witness this big step in their growth. Plus, seeing what outfits they put together all by themselves can be pretty entertaining. When they’re able to get dressed without help from Mom or Dad, we make sure their clothes are within their own reach. We’ll either move the hanging bar in their closet to a lower position or change where the clothes are kept so they can get everything they need to get dressed in the morning.
This shift is usually a new cause of mess, which brings me to my next point . . .
5. Make Clothes Easy to Put Away
It’s inevitable, the kiddos do tend to ruffle any neatly folded clothes and leave them on the floor. Not closing dresser drawers after getting dressed or putting away clothes has also been an issue.
A few years ago, I gave myself and my kids permission to not fold their clothes anymore when putting them away. I choose not to spend my time on that task, nor my emotional energy on its upkeep.
We simply toss the clothes in the assigned section for each type. For one of my sons, we actually replaced his dresser with wide-open bins stacked in the closet. He doesn’t even need to open or close a drawer. I do still have my kids hang shirts to develop that skill. When they get a bit older, we’ll work more on folding skills. But currently, this easy system is helping us survive and curb frustration.
6. Use Transitions to Add Incentive
When my kids were little, we started utilizing transitions for clean-up time in the living room. We’ll tack on the task of picking up right before lunch, before going out to do something fun, before dinner, or before bed. Doing this regularly means that the living room hardly gets too overwhelming to clean up. This habit, of course, would work for bedrooms too. I personally choose to be more lax for their own spaces.
In recent months, however, we have established a “no screen time until your room is picked up” rule to help our kids stay more on top of their bedrooms. So it is their choice to do it if they want some individual screen time.
7. The Surprise Mom Pickup
Sometimes a thorough pickup and organization from Mom is needed to help my kiddos’ rooms get back to baseline. I don’t schedule these for myself, but I am willing to tornado through my boys’ rooms every now and then. I’ll clear out obvious trash that’s been stowed away in the crevices of my kids’ rooms. I’ll also set aside broken or old toys I think they may be done with to ask them about later.
These surprise pickups from me are so few and far between that my kids don’t clean haphazardly with the expectation that I’ll pick up behind them. My kids appreciate the surprise of a clean room. I enjoy expressing my love in this way sometimes, and knowing their room is reset for a bit.
The Benefits
With these strategies, my kids are usually able to tackle a room cleaning without shutting down. They honestly don’t complain as much anymore when they need to pick up. We all do better with fewer belongings; it’s less work to keep our spaces tidy. Plus, when they have fewer options to choose from, they are more engaged in playing with what they do have! It’s a win-win for everyone.
