Have you ever gotten separated from your child in a crowded, public place? Thirty seconds feels like an eternity in these panic-filled moments. I’ve been there. It can happen at a festival, an amusement park, or even a grocery store. Although the “mom guilt” can set in deeply, this scenario says nothing about us as mothers or our children! In managing multiple people, extra stuff, navigating crowds, unfamiliar spaces, or even familiar spaces . . . the terrifying truth is that kids get lost sometimes.
Teaching our children what to do ahead of time will provide them with the tools they need to navigate a scary situation and make it a little less so. With casual, light conversation, games, and activities at home — we can empower our kids!
There are plenty of ideas and approaches to keeping kids safe in crowded places. Here are crowdsourced tips to consider for making a plan. Ultimately, implement the ideas that are best for your family.
Practicing at Home
First, let’s talk about lessons to teach and what to practice at home to stay safe in crowds. Start these young, and bring them up often. Through leisurely learning over time, it will feel less stressful as you practice. Work on what best suits your child at this age and stage! Any little bit you do NOW will help.
- Play Red Light/Green Light to use in public
- Teach your child to return to you when you say “Too far! Come back!”
- Practice memorizing contact and identifying information (more on this below)
- Imagine you’re in a crowded place and have the child practice holding onto you as you navigate around pretend people
- Teach your child to freeze when they realize they can’t see you, find the nearest safe person, and say “I’m lost.”
- Discuss who can be a safe helper (more on this below)
- Teach them to never go anywhere with anyone, even if it is to find you
- Decide on a family code word for kids to verify if a person is truly sent by you to help them or pick them up
- Teach your child to scream “Help! I don’t know you!” if someone is trying to take them
- Give your child express permission to fight back if someone grabs them. Tell them they are allowed to scream, bite, scratch, kick, hit, pinch — anything to get away and find a helper. These can also help with DNA purposes in law enforcement finding a kidnapper later.
- Practice different “what if” scenarios
Memorizing Identifying Information
Here are some ideas for helping children memorize pertinent identifying information. This should be their full name and spelling, parents’ actual names (not just Mommy/Daddy), parent’s phone number, address, and any other important information.
- Write it down, post it around the house, and have the child practice writing and reciting frequently
- Turn it into a jingle that you sing together
- Craft beaded bracelets together with info that they can wear when out in public
- Set your phone number as the passcode for a device that they play on regularly
Ideas for Providing Identifying Information in Public
Especially for little ones, it can be difficult to recall information in a panic. You may want to consider providing contact information on your child’s body in case you get separated in public.
This could be a piece of paper in your child’s pocket, or a disposable paper bracelet, with your information written. You could purchase a custom ID engraved bracelet, kid-sized silicone bracelet, waterproof tattoos, or use an ID sticker or stamp for your child’s clothes. Have your child wear the aforementioned beaded bracelet or simply write in permanent marker on the child’s arm and cover it with clear nail polish.
Safe Helpers for Kids
There are differing opinions on who kids should ask for help from when they’re lost. Many parents feel comfortable with telling their kids to find a mommy. Since a mommy can look like a lot of things to young kids, clarify key features to look for: a woman with little kids, a woman with a stroller, or wagon, for example.
However, some parents feel that idea is risky in a world with human trafficking. This is a reality with varying probability that you will have to decide your comfort level with.
Another approach that many parents take is having their kids ask for help from a security guard/police officer, employee with a name tag, or other community helper in the vicinity. This would depend on the location, so determine the safe helpers with little ones when you first arrive.
Precautions to Consider When Arriving
First off, a great idea when heading to a crowded place is to dress your kids in bright, easily noticeable colors, or dress multiples in matching outfits. Some parents even make their own outfits bright so they are easy to spot for their kids.
Here are some ideas of things to do when you first get to a crowded location. Some are contradictory, so glean the ideas that work for your family.
- If you’re at a smaller, familiar place review the boundaries of where your kids may go
- Take a picture of your child in their current outfit
- Have your child describe you and your outfit so they take note
- Review phone numbers, names, etc.
- Help your child identify safe helpers
- Decide on a safety spot to meet at if you get separated
- Tell your child to stay put if you get separated and yell your actual name
- If you have multiple children, assign buddies that they need to stick with and help look out for
- Remind children that they need to be able to see you at all times. Explain, “If you can’t see me, I can’t see you.”
- Secure Apple AirTags and/or contact information to your child
- If you have a second adult with you, have one of you lead through the crowd, while the other stays behind the kids
Further, ideally, we will have our hands free to hold onto our children in a crowded place. But in situations when this may be tricky, here’s what some parents suggest . . .
- Use a wagon, stroller, or backpack to hold your stuff so your hands are free
- Keep your child in a wagon or stroller
- Use a backpack leash or wrist leash for your child — no judgment here!
- Have your child walk in front of you
- Instruct your child to hold onto YOU (your clothing, pocket, purse strap, etc)
- If they’re old enough, have them carry an item or two if it frees up your hand to hold onto them
- Or, simply throw things out so you can hold onto your child
What PARENTS Should Do if Your Child is Lost
God forbid it happens . . . the best tip I’ve heard recently is to start shouting LOUDLY:
“I’m looking for
[child’s name, age, gender, clothing description, height]!”
If you’re with a second adult, have them stay where you last saw the child, and you as the child’s parent run and SHOUT this identifying information. Fellow patrons will be able to help you locate your child more quickly with this approach!
I hope this helps us all implement a new way to prepare our children and keep them safe in public situations! Every little bit helps.
