Are you a mom hosting Thanksgiving for the first time, or are you a seasoned host who’s gathered family around the table for years? No matter where you fall on that spectrum, this guide is for you. Thanksgiving can be one of the most rewarding yet overwhelming holidays to host. Whether you’re a biological mom, foster mom or adoptive mom or step mom, each type of motherhood brings its own joys and challenges, and Thanksgiving is a time to bring those experiences together while sharing gratitude, warmth, and family traditions. Hosting with kids in tow is never predictable, but with a few tricks up your sleeve, it can be one of the most memorable days of the year.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that feels like the ultimate “bring everyone together” event—a chance to make memories, share food, and enjoy each other’s company. This is not my first time hosting Thanksgiving dinner however, it is my first time hosting with two one-year olds who don’t know how to sit still! Like many moms, I want everything to be perfect (or close to it), but I know that in the world of parenting, especially with little ones, there’s rarely a “perfect.” My goal? Enjoy the moments, let go of expectations, and focus on what truly matters.
Whether you’re a mom to babies, toddlers or teens, here are some tried-and-true tips for keeping it as smooth, memorable, and low-stress as possible.
1. Embrace Imperfection and Set Realistic Expectations
Hosting Thanksgiving can feel like preparing for a major production, but let’s face it—kids can (and will) create some delightful chaos. For me, setting realistic expectations has been essential. I remind myself that the family is here to see us more than anything else. They don’t expect a picture-perfect event, so there’s no need to pressure ourselves to have everything look like a holiday magazine spread. It’s OK if the kids are running around with sticky hands, the table isn’t set to Instagram standards, or the turkey is just a bit dry.
To save time and reduce stress, consider delegating tasks or even embracing shortcuts. A beautiful store-bought pie or a catering dish can bring just as much joy as homemade. Focus on the overall feel of the day rather than aiming for perfection in every detail.
2. Make a Simple, Doable Plan
You don’t have to create a five-course meal for Thanksgiving to be a success. Instead, focus on a few dishes you’re confident in and can make ahead of time. I’m focusing on the essentials: turkey, mashed potatoes, and a few classic sides (which I may be delegating out!). Then, I’m filling out the rest with store-bought appetizers and desserts.
If you’re a mom or foster mom with young kids at home, prep is your best friend. Try to start chopping veggies or measuring ingredients the day before. Anything that can be done in advance should be. This gives you a fighting chance to keep things organized on the day of and helps you feel less like you’re scrambling last-minute.
3. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate!
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be a solo project. Let family members know how they can help—whether it’s bringing a dish, setting the table, or entertaining the kids for a while. Your mom, sister, or aunt might love the chance to contribute a family favorite, and anyone who has offered to bring something should absolutely follow through! If you’re hosting as a foster mom, know that this is a great way to help your little ones bond with extended family members.
I like to make a list and assign specific tasks, which keeps everyone involved and relieves the pressure on me to do everything myself. This year, my sister is bringing dessert, my mom’s in charge of the ham, my in-laws are bringing the stuffing, and my husband will help with kitchen duty. It makes the day feel more like a team effort and less like a balancing act.
4. Make the Kid Zone Fun and Cozy
If you have little ones, having a designated kid area can be a lifesaver. Set up a cozy corner with toys, picture books, or even an easy craft like coloring sheets. My two one-year-olds might be a bit too young for crafting, but I’ve set up a comfy area for them in the living room with some new toys to hold their interest and we’re hoping the gates keep them as contained as possible.
For older kids, consider activities that can keep them occupied for a bit while the adults mingle—like a simple scavenger hunt around the house or backyard, if the weather allows. Not only does this give the kids something to do, but it also allows you a few moments of peace as you work on the meal.
5. Accept Help with Childcare During Meal Prep and Clean-Up
If family members offer to entertain the kids or even help with diaper duty while you’re in the kitchen, say yes! Not only does this free you up to focus on meal prep or clean-up, but it also lets the family bond with the kids and share in the caregiving experience.
Plus, having other adults engage with your children gives you the rare chance to catch your breath or even sip a cup of coffee while it’s still hot.
6. Use a Checklist and Prioritize the Essentials
There’s always so much to remember when you’re hosting. I’ve found it super helpful to write everything down—from the menu to the tasks I want done before guests arrive. A checklist can feel like a lifesaver, especially with little ones around who may demand your attention at any moment. It helps me prioritize, knowing that even if I don’t get through the entire list, I’ll have the essentials covered.
To make it fun, I even include simple things like “light the candles” or “play music” to create the atmosphere I want. Not only does this keep me on track, but checking things off also feels surprisingly rewarding.
7. Take a Break to Soak in the Moment
One thing I’ve learned is that Thanksgiving Day can go by in a blur. Take a few minutes, maybe once an hour, to step back, look around, and appreciate the gathering. I plan on taking some photos of the kids’ adorable outfits (if they’ll let me keep them on!) and maybe catching a few candid moments of everyone enjoying the food.
If there’s one thing I want to remember, it’s that I’m not only hosting Thanksgiving; I’m building memories that our family, including my foster children, can cherish.
8. Focus on Gratitude, Not Perfection
Finally, Thanksgiving is ultimately about gratitude. Let go of the idea that everything needs to be “just right.” After all, family gatherings are about connecting, laughing, and enjoying each other’s presence. Embrace the imperfections, the spills, the little hiccups, and remember that it’s OK to laugh when things don’t go as planned. For me, I’m incredibly thankful for the chance to bring family together, share in the joy of the season, and watch our little ones experience their first big holiday with loved ones.
Thanksgiving is about so much more than a perfectly set table or a flawless menu. It’s a chance to connect, share stories, and build memories with the people who mean the most to us—whether they’re family by birth, choice, or the unique path of foster care and adoption. So, take a deep breath, embrace the little moments, and enjoy the love and laughter filling your home. As moms, we’re already pros at handling surprises, and Thanksgiving is the perfect time to celebrate that flexibility and heart. Here’s to making this Thanksgiving a joyful celebration of family, no matter how imperfect or delightfully messy it may be.
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